


SASO Fills: Kuroko no Basuke

by ewagan



Series: SASO 2017 Fills [3]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, M/M, Prostitution, Spirit World
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-11-16 01:07:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 7,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11243124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ewagan/pseuds/ewagan
Summary: Kuroko no Basuke fills for SASO 2017.





	1. Aomine/Kise: courtesan AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meiji era AU. Aomine is a top-class courtesan. Kise visits A LOT. Some angst but no chara deaths.
> 
> Prompt [here](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/21522.html?thread=10581266#cmt10581266)

_Daiki_ , that’s what they call him. Kise doesn’t know if he has a family name, but most courtesans do not have a family name. They give it up when they enter the pleasure district, and it’s something they do not get back. They say he is the son of a samurai family, who have fallen out of favour with their lord and had to sell themselves to get by. It is almost believable, with that haughty tilt of the chin and the proud bearing of his shoulders. Kise doesn’t know if it’s true, but he knows that there is something in those eyes that sets his blood on fire.

Kise thinks it’s an addiction flaring up in his blood, and he finds himself at the steps of the pleasure house again and again. Kise knows the unspoken rules of places like these. Be polite to the oiran. Leave before dawn. Do not leave marks on the oirans. _Don’t fall in love._

He thinks he has already broken that last rule. He doesn’t have a name for the way Daiki makes him feel, except that he cannot stop looking at Daiki, cannot stop reaching for him. Some part of Kise yearns for him, enough to come night after night, to drink sake and press his lips against Daiki’s, to watch Daiki’s clever fingers around the neck of a shamisen while they talk of idle things.

It is hard not to love someone, when they sell you the illusion of love. He remembers this when he’s kissing Daiki, their mouths hot and slick, when Daiki’s hands are curved around his ribs, careful, careful. He remembers this and he knows this, but he’s here anyways, letting Daiki push him down on the futon.

 _Daiki_ , he gasps between kisses. _Daiki_ , when careful fingers trace the outline of Kise’s collarbones, when he bends down to suck a bruise into Kise’s skin. _Daiki,_ when he presses in, the name whispered like a secret against the skin of Daiki’s neck.

He imagines Daiki feels the same about him, that Daiki means something when he kisses Kise soft and slow, tugging Kise closer. He lets Kise stay until dawn is too near, sees him out of the gates of the teahouse, smiles for Kise in a way that Kise can only hope he does not for anyone else.

 _Daiki, leave this place and come with me._ The words are on the tip of his tongue, but he cannot say them. He doesn’t know why Daiki remains here even after the contracts for courtesans have been lifted. He tried to ask, once. Daiki had distracted him with a kiss and a hand on his thigh, and he’d let him. He’s afraid of the answer, afraid it will upset the delicate balance between them.

He brings Daiki a camellia, tucking it behind Daiki’s ear just before he leaves. The look Daiki gives him is too knowing and a little sad, even as Kise turns away and leaves.

He knows he will come back, even though now Daiki knows, that they will pretend that this has not happened. He will be the son of the youngest prince, and Daiki will be one of the highest ranked courtesans in the district. They have their roles, and even though Kise has broken far too many rules, they will continue to play them.


	2. Akashi/Midorima, i have loved since you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _i have loved since you / but when the new paint gets scratched / there you are underneath_
> 
> Prompt [here](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/22249.html?thread=11671529#cmt11671529)

  1. Kousaka Reina

Slim and slight, daughter of a business partner. Long hair, long legs, a smile like clear summer days. Smart and witty, wicked sense of humour and sharp tongue. Coffee over tea, very much a modern girl and loves travelling. Met during a society function where they danced and charmed everyone, predicted to be married within the next three years. Slightly superstitious, enjoys reading horoscopes over breakfast. Spirited and opinionated, wears flowers in her hair very often. Fiancé, marriage planned for next autumn.

  2. Kamikita Chihara

Curvy and vivacious, friend of a friend. Loved chocolate milkshakes but hated chocolate ice cream, complaining they never tasted quite right. Secretary to a department head in her company. Terrible cook, could burn water but baked wonderfully. Best macaroons Akashi's had outside of Paris, stress baker. Blunt and straightforward, earnestly so. Played the guitar sometimes, would dance in the rain and drag Akashi with her. A bad breakup, but loved for her spirit and whimsy.

  3. Sorata Kazuo

College acquaintance, majored in astrophysics. Tall, with a fascination for the stars and a passion for storytelling. Laughed a lot, also very knowledgeable about tea and tea ceremonies. Excellent taste in teas, with a fondness for white teas and flower teas. Quiet and observant, a thoughtful gift giver. Sister in London, whom he adored and spoke of very fondly. Hated having messes around, a tendency to stay up very late to stargaze. Kissed Akashi during a meteor shower in the middle of nowhere. Only other boy Akashi had loved, a mutual breakup. There are some regrets, but they are still friends.

  4. Takeda Mitsuki

Short hair and big eyes, class representative. Treasurer of the Student Council, confessed after a meeting for the winter term. Used to want to be a school idol, but never became one. Loved eating outside, despite the weather. Deathly afraid of thunderstorms and planes, but wanted to travel the world despite it. Plans to become a high flying finance director in a global company. Breakup just before graduation, a high school relationship that would not have survived. Lost touch after the first year of university, loved for her bravery and determination.

  5. Midorima Shintarou

Middle school friend, vice president of the basketball club. Firm believer of horoscopes, always carried a lucky item with him. Long range basket shots, patience and dedication. Played the piano and shogi, persisted despite numerous defeats at Akashi’s hands (in shogi and otherwise). Very much a traditionalist, enjoyed having tea ceremonies where time permitted. A younger sister he cared for deeply, and watched out for. Alienated in high school, and the relationship never quite recovered. A bittersweet reminder of regrets and unfulfilled promises, a friendship that is as steady as a mountain. The first boy Akashi ever loved.





	3. Akashi/Midorima: all i see are the mistakes we're going to make

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> when i look at you all i see are the mistakes we're going to make
> 
> Prompt [here](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/22249.html?thread=11671529#cmt11671529)

**the mistakes we could make, that i have made**

 

>   1. falling in love with you was the first and the biggest. 
> 
> see, sagittarius and cancer are not compatible signs.   
>  you are action and fire and vision where i am water and the steady rhythm of the sea, a harbour in a storm.   
>  fire and water have never mixed well and darling, i thought we could do it.  
>  i was wrong.
> 
>   
> 
> 
>   2. telling you.
> 
> that would have wrecked us as we are.   
>  friendships do not survive relationships and i supposed that made us doomed from the start.  
>  but i think you know and i know you know i think this, so we circle each other, waiting for the axe to fall.  
>  i don’t know which of us will survive, or if we survive at all.
> 
>   
> 
> 
>   3. loving each other.
> 
> did you know that you have a way with words, that they fly like arrows, and they always hit their mark?  
>  see, we might agree on many things now but we won’t always, and you have always been careless in your cruelty.  
>  i may have walls and armour around my heart but letting you in stripped me bare  
>  you may not mean to, but one day you will hurt me too badly, and i will not be able to forgive you.
> 
>   
> 
> 
>   4. leaving.
> 
> you will leave me, in the end. you may flicker like a dying ember until you fade away from my smothering you-   
>  or you might go out in a blaze of glory, and take the best of me with you.  
>  i don't know how to tell you that this is a mistake, that we are a mistake.   
>  i think you can see it.
> 
>  
> 
> and yet, you are here.
> 
> 



	4. Kuroko & Midorima: bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt [here](https://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/22249.html?thread=12040169#cmt12040169)

Traditionally used in making broths and stocks, bones add flavour and depth to food as well as being very nutritious. Knuckles and marrows are best for this purpose, due to their high collagen content.  
  
In vichyssoise, the quality of the bones and the subsequent stock is important. Despite its simplicity, a badly made vichyssoise is instantly obvious, and will prove to be an unsatisfying and unpalatable experience.  
  
Carefully simmered over twelve hours, the stock is then mixed with puréed leek and potato to create a delicate soup that showcases a complexity of flavour while retaining a classic elegance.  
  
Serve chilled, lightly garnished with chopped chives.  
  


> _Midorima's hands are precise in their actions, well kept and elegant, much like Midorima himself. Kuroko watched him exercise a discipline and determination that was admirable, even from a distance. He and Midorima were only friends in the loosest terms, but there was much mutual respect between them, despite the incompatibility of their personalities. For all his beliefs in superstitions and luck, Midorima put in a lot of hard work and dedication. His honesty and bluntness was a change from the evasion of most people, and he wielded his knives like an extension of him. Watching him chop vegetables were a sort of mundane magic, and he could reduce fish and poultry into useable components in a matter of seconds. He was difficult and demanding, despised working in teams but he upheld a standard of excellence in everything he did, which shone through in the food he made._
> 
> _Once, he’d asked Kuroko why he kept cooking despite not being very good, and the answer had been because he loved it. Kuroko struggled with keeping up in the kitchen and was not the best of cooks, but he tried and he was persistent. That was something Midorima could respect, even though the results were not always encouraging. Their mutual respect became something like a friendship, nurtured with late nights spent replicating dishes they had eaten recently, paired with cold beer or wine, and an exhaustion Kuroko could see building in Midorima. He didn’t take well to being forced to play well with others, and he’d been lucky enough to land a job in some high-class place. They allowed him some leeway, made room for his eccentricities, gave him a partner he could work with after a fashion. But the strain of it was clear in Midorima’s eyes, in the way his hands trembled sometimes now._
> 
> __Maybe this is just me burning out, and maybe I should have become a doctor like my parents wanted me to, _he tells Kuroko, one night._ Maybe I wasn’t meant for this. _Kuroko has no comfort to offer, because sometimes hard work and wanting something didn’t mean you could have it, even when one had the talent and knack for it._


	5. Kuroko & Kise: liver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt [here](https://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/22249.html?thread=12040169#cmt12040169)

Liver is one of the most popular and well-known pieces of offal used in cooking. From sautéed to grilled to stewed, it is fairly easy to prepare and a popular addition for flavour in many dishes.  
  
It is recommended to soak the liver in milk to mellow the taste before cooking, especially if it is very strongly flavoured.  
  
Pâté is a favoured way to serve liver, considered something of a luxury despite its rather humble beginnings.  
  
Gently fried with herbs and shallots, the liver is then blended with butter and cream to form a fine paste. Add a little brandy for additional flavour, chill, then finish with butter and just a little orange zest, for some brightness to cut through the richness. Chill for a few days before serving to allow the flavours to develop fully.  
  
Serve with toasted bread or crackers, accompanied by cornichon pickles.  
  
  


> _Kise was one of the brightest people Kuroko had met, both literally and figuratively. He was a lot smarter than he liked to appear, his cheerful and overly dramatic personality helped people to forget this. Kuroko didn’t, and he saw through Kise’s carefree exterior and saw the way he held his worries close to the chest. He had a knack for cooking that Kuroko envied and while he was great at replicating the many dishes he’d eaten all over the world, he didn’t seem particularly invested in the process of cooking itself._
> 
> __It’s too easy, _he said to Kuroko._ The challenge isn’t there. _Kuroko didn’t quite understand, but Kise managed everything with an effortless grace that Kuroko had to wonder at, and envy just a little. The only person whom Kise had tried hard for was Aomine, held up to a pedestal that left Kise scrambling to catch up. Aomine was far from the only one Kise had admired, but Aomine was an aspiration and an ideal to be grasped, out of reach._
> 
> _Aomine then had been easy laughter and happy to tease Kise, tell him one day maybe he’d have a chance, but also served him meals that would have stunned food critics into silence and left Kise breathless with laughter. Kuroko watched the tension between them grow, the way they danced around each other and he thought that they could be good for each other._
> 
> _Neither of them knew what to do when Aomine crashed, when he decided that he couldn’t do it anymore. The aftershocks could be felt months afterwards, in the unhappy turn of Kise’s smile and the way he told Kuroko it wasn’t worth it anymore._
> 
> _Kise stopped trying so hard after that, only cooked rarely and simple things, unboxing packages and adding herbs and salt and spice for flavour, a habit he’d learned from Aomine that he couldn’t seem to break._
> 
> __I miss him, _Kise told Kuroko, more than a year later._
> 
>  __
> 
> __
> 
> _It was the closest he’d come to a confession, or talking about what may have been._


	6. Kuroko & Haizaki: brains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt [here](https://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/22249.html?thread=12040169#cmt12040169)

Brains are an unusual piece of offal to be enjoying, but offer a lovely texture and unique flavour. Much like liver, it is advised to soak them in milk to help reduce any unsavoury flavours before cooking.  
  
Brains are often fried, but they can also be mixed with scrambled eggs or cooked as a part of stew or soup. As they are delicate, they need to be handled gently and with care. It is also suggested to serve them on toast or in pasta due to the delicate texture.  
  
To prepare, poach in a broth gently to help the brains retain their shape as well as infuse them with some flavour. Remove after five minutes so as not to overcook them, then bread with flour and fry in butter until golden brown. Pour cognac in and watch the pan catch fire, and wait until the flame has died before removing.  
  
Add cream to the pan to create a sauce, season to taste then place the brains on toast. Drizzle with sauce, then serve.  
  


> _Kuroko’s interactions with Haizaki were rather limited, but he found the other man to be rude, with a violent and cruel streak. He cooked with a devil-may-care attitude, heedless of conventions and rules. While it made for some wonderful food, it also created a lot of tension between Haizaki and his superiors. Coupled with his bad attitude and disregard for safety, it wasn’t surprising he was fired from job after job._
> 
> _He said he didn’t care, when Kuroko asked him about it. The glint in his eye was manic and Kuroko took a step back before Haizaki had sneered at him and left. The encounter left a bitter taste in Kuroko’s mouth, clenched fists and an aching jaw. No one who didn’t care could cook like that, in Kuroko’s opinion._
> 
>  __
> 
> __
> 
> __
> 
> _He kept cooking after that, but never in restaurants. He was replicating dish after dish and adding to them in ways that made them more than they were. Kuroko knew he had a knack for it, for making something ordinary into something similar enough to retain the basic elements but still having something about it that could not be replicated while making the original seem bland. But he didn’t care about the food, so he gave up the chef line and disappeared._
> 
>  __
> 
> __
> 
> __
> 
> _Kuroko heard later that he was found harassing people for money and was on the run for having severely injured someone, then he was never heard from again._
> 
>  __
> 
> __
> 
> __


	7. Akashi/Midorima: i don't know how to make things right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don't know how to make things right / so i'll keep pretending nothing's wrong
> 
> prompt [here](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/22249.html?thread=11671529#cmt11671529)

After a war comes the recovery, the aftermath of a disaster that has devastated everything. It is uneasy footing that Akashi finds himself on, trying to regain equilibrium of the befores and afters.

Basketball was the war, the Winter Cup their battleground. In the end, Akashi is left with more regrets than he’d ever expected to have.

Recovery is a slow process, apology after apology for his selfishness, though many of them have not been worded as such. Some are easy, Momoi’s cheer and good naturedness and Kise’s carefree dismissal winning out over past mistakes, Kuroko’s friendship always an easy thing. But apologies aren’t always enough, and there are some things he has said that cannot be taken back.

He tells this to Midorima, one night. Their friendship is still a delicate thing, uprooted and trampled, but now replanted and slowly learning to live again.

(He is grateful that Midorima still knows him well enough to understand that they do not speak of what had happened between them, but instead chooses to ask him about Mayuzumi instead.

“We don’t talk anymore, he said it wouldn’t be cool.” Akashi tells him. Midorima makes a considering noise in response. Akashi thinks he might be working on assignments while he’s on the phone; he’s never been the type to be idle after all.

“I still feel like I owe him a proper apology for the last year, and the way I used him.”

“So tell him.”

_ It’s not that simple, _ Akashi wants to say. But it’s not true, both he and Midorima know this.)

 

* * *

 

Sometimes, it’s on the tip of his tongue to blurt it out mid-conversation, one apology after another, a confession of fear. But he likes their current equilibrium, but he knows that saying it will upset the careful balance they have, built on things not said, or things he’s not yet ready to say, and things Midorima is not ready to hear.

Mibuchi had asked him what the apologies were for, in the shadows of the shrine Akashi came to sometimes. He’s been coming here more often now, after the Winter Cup. When he’d apologized to Mibuchi, Mibuchi’s smile was a bit rueful. “We all wanted to win as well, Sei-chan.”

“If you’re apologizing to seek absolution, perhaps you should not be apologizing.” is all he says when Akashi tells him about Midorima, in not so many words. Akashi mulls it over, and wonders if the apologies he has made is more selfishness on his part, or for the people he’s apologized to.

“I think he has to hear it.” Akashi tells Mibuchi, in the end. “And I have to say it, not for forgiveness, but because he needs to know.”

“But it’s easier to pretend that things are fine, no?” Mibuchi’s voice is knowing, and Akashi nods, even though he knows Mibuchi isn’t looking.


	8. Akashi/Midorima: nocturne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [prompt here](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/22341.html?thread=12851269#cmt12851269)

It's easy to pretend he's forgotten, in the hectic rush of life. When his days are filled with meetings and work, time flies by him so fast that it's dark before he leaves the office. He has no time to remember, to think about it.

It's harder to forget at night, when he has loneliness and absence to remind him. Sometimes it’s just the silence and the stillness. Sometimes it’s an ache, a longing for Midorima to just be here, be where he was. 

The lack of it is what strikes at him most, in late hours when he cannot sleep, where he wanders through the rooms like a ghost. The piano is reproachful in its corner, aching for touch, the way his chest aches for love lost too soon. He's afraid to open it, because it has always been more Midorima's than his. But tonight, tonight it sits there, silent and alone, and Akashi cannot help but run his fingers over the lid, finding solace in commiseration.

He misses hearing the sound of it, the sound of the apartment filled with music. The silence presses down and Akashi cannot bear it, cannot bear the way it reminds him of all his losses. Fire cannot burn without fuel, and love dies a slow death in absence.

His fingers are hesitant on the keys, but it's not hard to remember how to play it, scales and arpeggios drilled into muscle memory, even if he hasn't played the piano in a long time now. It doesn't take long before he starts playing simpler pieces he vaguely remembers, improvised from what he can remember of them. He used to accompany Midorima on the violin, they'd played through an entire repertoire of composers, from Tchaikovsky to Liszt, to more modern pieces they’d improvised for duets.

Midorima had always loved the nocturnes most though.

His fingers are halting, hesitant with each note, but he remembers it, from watching Midorima play, from learning it himself, years ago.

Memory is a ghost that lives in his mind, in the empty spaces of their apartment, now taken up by the absence of which Akashi had to live with. It aches, and Akashi sometimes cannot remember how to breathe.

So he plays, and he plays until his fingers are trembling and tired, until he feels like he has exhausted all his emotions and all that’s left is a quiet acceptance and resignation that sinks into his bones.

Letting go is not forgetting. But letting go comes slowly, and he thinks that in this, he is slow to learn. He will remember Midorima in other ways, but not in the spaces he left behind. 


	9. Aomine/Kise: secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [prompt here](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/22341.html?thread=12940869#cmt12940869)

Falling in love was the easy part, the shared laughter and the making out, kissing like no one was watching.

Except everyone was.

Between his growing basketball popularity and Kise’s own fame, privacy was hard won. He’d never been the type to keep secrets, but Kise had kissed him and told him this had to be one, for their careers. Aomine wanted to tell him fuck that, he didn’t care if anyone knew, but Kise did. He’s not sixteen and stupidly selfish anymore, so he agreed.

He didn’t count on it weighing on him like this, in the smallest things. It’s difficult to keep his hands to himself when they go out together, the way Kise pulls away sometimes even if he does reach out, telling him someone might be watching. It leaves Aomine feeling rejected, and he’s never taken rejection well.

Momoi had listened sympathetically when he’d gone to complain to her, ever reliable despite juggling a double major and an internship, and told him Kise couldn’t help it. “I know, but sometimes it feels like he’s ashamed of this.” he grumbles into his coffee.

“Oh, Dai-chan.” Momoi sighs, her eyes full of something Aomine couldn’t bear to look at. But she’d curled her hand over his and squeezed, reassuring.

“Is it stupid to feel like this?” he asks her, since he still trusts her judgment far more than he does his own. She smiles sympathetically and squeezes his hand again, and he has to resist the urge to scrub his hands over his face.

“Not really, no.” she says. “But Ki-chan does care about you.”

Even from Momoi, it sounds like cold comfort.

It’s easy to forget all this when Kise’s around though. His smiles light up whatever space he’s currently in, and he chatters endlessly to Aomine about his day, his week. Aomine doesn’t really know what he’s talking about half the time, but he listens as best as he can, nodding and making suitable noises depending on Kise’s tone.

The best part is when Kise smiles at him, a small, soft smile that’s different from the megawatt smile he sees pasted all over billboards and magazine covers, when Aomine reaches to kiss him soft and slow, until Kise’s breathing his name with a reverence that should be reserved for prayers. _Daiki, Daiki I love you._ And it’s always easier to kiss Kise until they’re both hot and hard and wanting than it is to talk to him.

Words were never really Aomine’s thing, and he doesn’t know how to tell Kise how much he wants this to be more than it is now. So he kisses Kise instead, until he can forget his unhappiness at the secrets they keep.


	10. Akashi/Kuroko: moving on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [prompt here](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/22341.html?thread=12964165#cmt12964165)

“Tetsu-kun!” Momoi’s slightly out of breath, but she’s here. “Sorry I’m late.” she apologizes, dropping into the chair opposite Kuroko’s. He just smiles at her, and she smiles back. “So tell me, how are you?”

And Kuroko tells her. He tells her about his current batch of students, about Shimada-kun and Maeda-kun’s rivalry, about the chocolates he’d received from his students on Valentine’s Day, how Namikawa-san had hurt herself playing the other day. She listens and she laughs in the right places, makes sympathetic noises and coos about how cute the children must be.

“They’re a lot less cute when they’re wielding markers and coming for you.” Kuroko remarks dryly, and Momoi only laughs before she launches into a story about her latest client.

“Akashi-kun’s getting married.” she says, during a lull in the conversation. Kuroko pauses, then takes a sip of his vanilla milkshake. He knows. He’d seen the invitation, with his name on it, a reminder to RSVP. Momoi’s eyes are concerned when she looks at him, and he knows what she’s asking without saying the words.

“It was a long time ago, Momoi-san.” Kuroko says, finally. “It was a mutual decision.”

She gets the hint and changes the subject, and they don’t talk about it again.

 

Kise’s the next one to ask, and Kuroko’s beginning to wonder how to tell them thank you, but please go away. He tells Kise as much, and Kise whines at him for being so blunt and rude. But he also tells Kuroko he’ll be in town sometime in the next month and _Kurokocchi, please let’s go to that cafe. My treat, promise!_ and Kuroko had hummed agreement while he graded childish drawings of skies and flowers, writing encouraging comments on the back.

He’s not sure what kind of reaction they’d expected of him. He hadn’t wanted to talk about it then, and he still doesn’t really care to talk about it now. He’d rehashed it enough times on his own, and he thinks he and Akashi come to the correct conclusion when they’d parted.

He’s certain now of a few things he’d thought he’d known then.

First of them was Akashi was not a god, he was not infallible. He was heartbreakingly vulnerable and human, despite how he had presented himself. He had been good at hiding, but Kuroko had also been good at seeing through him. It didn’t make him unlovable. In fact, Kuroko had loved him all the more for it.

For all he had loved Akashi then, he certainly isn’t in love with Akashi anymore.

It doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss him.

The other thing was certain of now was that they had done what was best for them then. He doesn’t lay claim to any sort of prescience like Akashi does, but he’d known then had been the best time - perhaps the only time - they could let go and still be friends. Just because they’d been happy once didn’t they were happy now. The realization hurt, and it had hurt a lot. But Akashi also knew what he’d sensed, that it wasn’t working out, and it wasn’t going to work out because they wanted it to, simply because they were different people and who wanted different things.

So they’d let it die then, gently and carefully, instead of in an ugly blaze that would have left them with ashes and bitterness.

They’d both moved on, in the end. Akashi had been gracious, as he always was, and they’d remained friends after a fashion. They still exchange New Year’s greetings, and Akashi still sends him a birthday gift every year. It’s not really surprising that Akashi had sent him an invitation to his wedding. He’s sure Akashi had sent one to the rest of the Miracles, and perhaps his friends in Rakuzan. He stares at the embossed card in his hand, reminding him he still owed a reply and soon.

So he writes a polite acceptance note and seals the envelope. He’ll visit the post office on his way home from work tomorrow.


	11. Akashi/Mayuzumi: old bridges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [prompt here](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/23665.html?thread=13808241#cmt13808241)

There is an old bridge north of the village that leads to the forest, overgrown and mostly forgotten. There is talk of old spirits and people going missing, reflections in the river that separates the two worlds. Local rumours say anyone who crosses it never returns, and presumably was what happened to Chihiro’s parents. His father had gone in and never returned, and his mother had followed, searching for her husband.

Chihiro does not know what is true, only that he lives with the village priest and that he is different from the other children. He cares little for what they think, content to spend his time reading the many old tomes kept in the village shrine. He carries out the duties expected of him, and he knows that it is likely he will take over from the priest once he gets too old.

He does not mind; it leaves him to his own devices, undisturbed by the rest of the village. They do not question his oddities or his behaviour, chalking it up priestly duties or some such notion. Chihiro only cares that they do not interfere with him.

The bridge is old and the wood creaks when Chihiro steps on it, but it holds steady, sturdy. He makes it about halfway before he stops, something flickering in the corner of his eye. When he turns to look, it’s vaguely human in shape, red hair and mismatched eyes that are watching Chihiro.

“You probably shouldn’t cross the bridge.” It tells him, its gaze returning to the river.

“Who are you?” Chihiro snaps. There are other thing he’d like to say, but he remembers enough tales to exercise caution in dealing with spirits.

“You may call me Akashi.” The shape flickers and solidifies briefly into that of a boy around Chihiro’s age, albeit shorter than him. Akashi is blurred at the edges, as if he was neither here nor there. But he looks at Chihiro like he sees more of Chihiro than anyone else has before, past and future.

“You could be more than you are.” Akashi remarks.

“I like the way I am.” Chihiro answers.

“Is that so.” It’s not a question, even if it’s phrased as one. But Chihiro owes no wayward spirit answers, however unusual they are.

“What of you?” Chihiro asks, deflecting.

“I am only passing through.” Akashi says. Chihiro senses there is more to it than Akashi is telling him, but he does not press. It is none of his business.

“I see. Safe travels then.”

Akashi gives him a ghost of a smile before he flickers out of sight again, the bridge quiet and alone again. Chihiro turns back to the village, and the bridge sighs when he steps off it. He wonders what it was waiting for, if it was more than it appeared.

Akashi never returns, after that. Chihiro wonders about him, if he will ever see Akashi again. But perhaps, some things are meant only to last the moment, then left to be forgotten, remembered only in strange hours and darkness.


	12. Akashi/Midorima: the afters, patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You taught me that there is such a thing as unconditional love; when you found a way to love me, in the condition I was in.  
> \- William Chapman

“I never did thank you.” Akashi tells him one evening, abrupt. They’re sitting in the garden, Akashi in his kimono, Midorima in his shirt and trousers. It’s humid and hot, cicadas screaming in the late evening.

“Whatever for?” Midorima asks. 

“For looking out for me, after.” He doesn’t specify what after means, but Midorima understands. The war had been hard on everyone, even in the capital, far removed from the fighting. Japan’s shifting political landscape had not helped instill much stability after, and even now, things were still changing while power shifted around. Midorima had opted to stay out of it, focusing instead on his duties as a doctor, but it was in the news, on street corners. A revolution was in the air, much as both he and Akashi chose to stay removed from it.

Akashi had come back changed, more withdrawn, colder and more cynical. Sometimes he woke up screaming in the night, and Midorima stayed with him until he’d calmed down enough to fall asleep again. On nights Akashi could not sleep, they walked to the river and stayed until the sun rose. Midorima never asked about what happened, simply let Akashi be until he was ready to talk. They spent a lot of time walking in silence on Midorima’s days off, through the changing streets of Tokyo as more new establishments popped up. More people flooded in to Tokyo, and Akashi decided abruptly he was going to Kyoto instead, back to his family’s estate.

Midorima still isn’t sure why he’d decided to follow Akashi, but he likes Kyoto better than Tokyo. There is always work for a doctor, regardless where he goes, so it was easy enough to follow Akashi. Kyoto seemed to suit Akashi better as well, as he began to seem more like his old self, edges smoothing away as the seasons passed. He’d started taking over his father’s businesses in Kyoto, and was fast becoming someone of influence and power.

“I don’t believe I did anything.” Midorima replies stiffly. Akashi only smiles at him, like he knows something Midorima doesn’t.

“You did far more than you know.” Akashi says cryptically. Midorima can only sigh in response. There is not much to be done when Akashi does not wish to talk, so they watch the dragonflies darting around, catching gnats.

Sometimes, they play shogi in the evenings. Akashi has a habit of asking important questions disguised as idle conversation, and Midorima is still not sure why he is surprised when Akashi does it.

“Do you believe in love, Midorima?”

Midorima looks up from the board and at Akashi, who is staring off into the distance.

“i would suppose so.” He finally settles on moving his knight forward.

“What of unconditional love, as it were?” Akashi surveys the board then moves his chariot forward.

“I wouldn’t know.” he answers slowly, wondering if Akashi had a point to make with all these questions. Usually Midorima finds himself with more questions after these conversations, but perhaps he also thinks too hard. “I’ve hardly had much experience of such a thing.”

He moves his silver general, after further consideration.

“I believe it exists.” Akashi moves his bishop and captures one of Midorima’s pawn, a stark contrast to his words. “I think I’ve been fortunate enough to experience it.”

“I see.” Midorima looks at the board and finds himself with few moves left. So he moves another pawn forward, and they play in silence for a while.

“Shintarou.” Midorima looks up, and there’s something oddly soft and vulnerable in Akashi’s eyes, and Midorima does not know how to place it. Only that Akashi’s hand catches his and Midorima is suddenly, painfully aware of him. It is an unspoken question, but with Akashi, the answer has always, always been yes.

So he nods, and squeezes Akashi’s hand.


	13. Akashi/Midorima: holding on, letting go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I keep thinking about this river somewhere, with the water moving really fast. And these two people in the water, trying to hold onto each other, holding on as hard as they can, but in the end it’s just too much. The current’s too strong. They’ve got to let go, drift apart. That’s how it is with us.”  
> \- Kazuo Ishiguro, Never Let Me Go
> 
> more poetry /shrug emoji

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [prompt here](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/23665.html?thread=14076785#cmt14076785)

when we started, i thought that we could have this  
i dared to hope, i dared to love you  
they tell us love is a choice and i thought this was it, i would choose you every time  
and you too, would choose me.  
it would be enough, we could be enough 

time is a river that never stops  
and i thought we could hold on if we wanted it enough  
but the currents are strong and it tugs you away from me, just as it pulled me away from you  
so i let go, and you did too.  
now we stand with a river raging between us, and we don’t know how to bridge this distance between us 

i think i told you once i wouldn’t let you go again,  
but sometimes, we’re forced to let go.  
i tried to hold on, i know you did  
perhaps,  
it was never a choice at all.


	14. Akashi/Midorima: resound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It is dreadful when something weighs on your mind, not to have a soul to unburden yourself to. You know what I mean. I tell my piano the things I used to tell you." - Frederic Chopin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [prompt here](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/23665.html?thread=14232689#cmt14232689)

[_Chopin - Nocturne in B-flat minor, Op. 9, No. 1_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtIW2r1EalM)  
Someone once told him all sad songs started with a minor key, and Midorima thinks he understands why. There’s something slightly dissonant but yearning in a minor key, one he hears in every song now. His fingers slide over polished keys, now a bit worn from age, from use, from love.  
  
Now curved, poised to play, before they flatten to rest gently over the keys.  
  
He’s run out of songs to play.  
  
  
[ _Erik Satie - Gymnopédie No.1_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-Xm7s9eGxU)  
Explaining himself is not something Akashi has had to do in a while, and he finds that he misses the rapport he had with Midorima. For better or worse, they had understood each other, when to give, when to push.  
  
He’s forgotten that not everyone understands his train of thought, nor can everyone follow it. Kuroko is not Midorima and while he was willing to listen to Akashi, he does not necessarily understand when Akashi tells him certain things. He lacks a context and understanding of the nuances of the situation, something Midorima had always managed to pick up on. Perhaps from long exposure to Akashi, or simply from being on a similar wavelength.  
  
It makes confiding a difficult thing, and Akashi finds himself smiling and shaking his head, and they move on to more pleasant topics of conversation.  
  
  
[ _Tenmon - END THEME_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8X_bUyrUfg)  
He starts playing other songs, songs that he never played before. They’re easier than the fussy Liszts or demanding Bach pieces he’s more accustomed to, different in tone and feel. It feels almost new. His sister persuades him to watch anime movies with her, and while she’s sniffling quietly at the end of them, he’s listening to the end credits while the camera pans over a shot of Tokyo.  
  
Later, he picks the notes out on the piano while his sister watches, begging him to teach her to play it. So he makes notations, adding to it here, revising it there. It’s similar but it’s not precisely the same, but Midorima likes it well enough, and his sister’s more than happy with his transcription of it, despite its inaccuracies.  
  
He thinks he feels lighter for having done that, pouring out unspoken thoughts into delicate, bell-like notes and more decisive chords, until they are familiar and he can play them with ease.  
  
  
[ _Kashiwa Daisuke - A Silent Summer_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rirX-yA7qB0)  
The piano is an old friend, familiar and forgiving as Akashi learns to play with regularity again. He still remembers some basics of composition, so he lets his fingers run across the black and white keys, producing melody and harmony until he feels the restlessness inside him settle, just a little. A harmonic minor chord here, triadic tone there, snatches of songs he heard in transit, on the radio, in advertisements, pieces that slowly fit together into a loose composition of sorts, always changing with each repetition.  
  
It is a poor substitute for someone to talk to, but it is enough for now, his thoughts returning to him in the form of arpeggios and augmented chords.


	15. Akashi/Midorima: remember, remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a remix of [this](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/23665.html?thread=14685297#cmt14685297)
> 
> alternately, vague eternal sunshine of a spotless mind au

He remembers a beach house. Two glasses, a bottle of wine, or perhaps it was whiskey or brandy, flash of red hair around the corner, an open door. They have been here before, he thinks.

This is the thing about memory. It is familiar, they have played this game before, gone through these motions. It is familiar as it is inevitable, as it is new and something that lingers even after they both try to wipe each other away again. There is a type of memory that cannot be erased, that lingers when his hands reach for Akashi, the brief spark of recognition. Perhaps one might call it muscle memory, but Midorima knows it is only the repetitive familiarity of an action. He is a doctor, after all.

Perhaps also, Akashi is something that has sunk into his bones, his blood, and Midorima cannot erase him however hard he might try.

He remembers the two of them heading down to the beach, shoes abandoned midway in favour of being barefoot, sand between his toes. There, the light house up on the cliff, the lights from the festival. He remembers fireworks and Akashi next to him, staring at the sky while Midorima watched him, the curve of a smile that was sad and understanding. He can only see Akashi’s face in flashes, when the fireworks bloom across the sky. It is instinctive to reach for him, easy from doing it so often, the way they fit together.

He can’t remember if Akashi leans over to kiss him, but he remembers the curl of Akashi’s hand in his, fingers laced loosely together, water around their ankles.

Forgetting does not mean it does not hurt, only that it hurts for a different reason. Absence too, is an ache, and you can mourn things you’ve never had.

Something unravels, stretching thin between them. He thinks he doesn’t want to forget, painful as it has been, as it can be, as it already is. So when Akashi tells him _remember me_ , he tries, holding onto whatever he can.

 _Stay with me a little longer_ , he tells Akashi, like it means something, like it will change what is happening. But the tide is rushing in and Akashi’s smile is a little sad, a little wistful. Already it is up to their calves, and Akashi’s looking at him like he understands the need to forget, and the desperation to remember.

By the time the tide washes over him, Akashi is no longer there, and Midorima wonders if this time he’ll remember.


	16. Aomine/Kise: then again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [prompt here](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/25713.html?thread=15904113#cmt15904113)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there was this conversation about a kurobas ddadds game except everyone's your ex and we had a.. very interesting conversation anyways this is basically where is came from so-

Kise’s never made many good decisions when it comes to Aomine. This is a known fact. So it shouldn’t be so surprising that when they run into each other for the first time in ten years, Kise says yes when Aomine asks him to have a drink together. It’s a bad idea, he knows. But he follows Aomine to a quiet bar somewhere, lets him buy them drinks and they chat a little.

Aomine looks good, though it might be the bad bar lighting or the remnants of what had been a very intense affair. Kise had been stupid in love with him at that time and all too willing to explain away all his faults. But it didn’t last and then Kise left Japan to make something of himself in the international circuit, and he hasn’t been home very often.

He’s not sure how many drinks it is but then they’re making out in the bathroom, and Aomine’s whispering in his ear _c’mon, let’s go back to mine._  And Kise’s lost his common sense somewhere a couple of drinks ago, so he says yes, lets Aomine lead him out of the bar.

 

When he wakes up, Aomine’s still sleeping and Kise feels warm, fond even. If they’d been older, perhaps they wouldn’t have broken up. Aomine grunts a little and then his eyes are open, looking at Kise blearily.

“Mornin’.” he mumbles, eyes sliding shut again.

“Good morning.” Kise’s smile, stretching a little. “Last night was nice.”

“I figured you’d probably like it better that way.” Aomine slides one eye open. “Waste of time though.” Kise can feel something in his blood freeze over as he sits up, glaring at Aomine.

“Oh my god, Aominecchi.” he hisses. “Sex is not a competition. It is especially, _not_ a competition to see who can nut the fastest.”

“Then what’s the point?” Kise wants to push him off the bed. Aomine might be solid muscle and probably weigh more than him right now, but Kise’s got the element of surprise and he knows Aomine’s slow to react when he wakes up in the mornings.

“This is exactly why we broke up. I cannot _believe_  you.” He shoves at Aomine, though not with enough force to push him off the bed. Aomine grunts but he looks up at Kise, and he has that look in his eye that Kise knows means he’s about to do something very stupid. “Aominecchi, _no_.”

  

Ten minutes later, Aomine’s got a self satisfied smirk on his face and they’re both flat on their backs, breathless. Kise’s feeling like he’s fifteen and waking up after a night of wet dreams. It doesn’t stop him from grabbing a pillow and smacking Aomine with it, though he gives it up as a lost cause.

Aomine just leans over and kisses him again, still smirking. “Wanna go again?” he asks.

Kise shoves him off the bed.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments appreciated!
> 
> You can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ewagan)!


End file.
